On The Silence

Last week I was a co-leader for a project at the Lil'bit's school.  The only problem with that was that I didn't know I was a co-leader.  The worst part was that my other co-leader also did not realize she was a co-leader.  I signed up to help with games! GAMES!  I didn't know "help with games" meant FIGURE OUT EVERYTHING.

In the end though, the project was completed and a huge hit and by Friday my co-leader and I had our act mostly together.  And with the help of every other mom/teacher, everything went off pretty seamlessly.

The seamless part felt like a little miracle because nothing in my life is seamless right now.  Everything feels choppy and jarring and overwhelming.

* * * * * 

We got a new car a couple of weeks ago.  It's another Jetta.  Both Josh and I would be in danger of taking the wrong car if New Jetta (lovingly deemed Jessie by the gumdrop) wasn't candy apple red.  Hence Jessie (Toy Story! Hello?!) (Old Jetta is a wonderful classic navy.)

Jessie Jetta and Jetta Jetta were never going to be a His and Hers version of transportation.  We've always been a "Kid's Car" and "Not Kid's Car" kind of family.  If I have the kid, I clearly have the car with the car seat.  But if I head out of town (for school) I sure as heck better not mess up and take the kid car, because JOSH NEEDS THE KID CAR.

Thankfully we haven't gotten to Lil Bit's school with the wrong car yet.  But one of us (ahem. me) ventured off for the hour long drive to school with all of Josh's work stuff in the Non Kid Car.  Because frankly, Josh's Work Stuff usually doesn't enter the Kid Car.  But Josh was the last one with the kid...sigh.

So 20 minutes down the interstate and I get a phone call...."um, Honey....you have all my stuff!"
I have words for moments like those.  But they don't really belong in post where I've just referred to my child as "gumdrop!"  Lets just say they're drawn out, and usually under my breath, and typically are followed with a little eye twitch AS I EXIT THE INTERSTATE.

Needless to say, things have been a little disjointed and not just because of the new car.  School is starting to tower over me.  Since I'm not jumping for joy every time I talk about research papers and presentations and lectures, my father-in-law thinks I hate school.

I don't hate school.  Instead, I've moved on from my First Semester Honeymoon phase to the...next...phase.  Whatever phase that is.    I think it's the scope phase.  The phase where you start to realize the scope of the project you just took on.  Folks.....the scope is big.

The scope is overwhelming and daunting because it includes research papers and presentations and lectures but it also includes making Halloween costumes and "helping with games" and making sure you take the right car. It involves cleaning the house and remembering to shower and playing games and going on adventures and eating something besides a snickers and coke.  But mostly it involves loving on my family.

Sometimes, the best and biggest things in the picture get lost among the research papers and presentations and....

The scope. It is big.

photo by Josh Rogers.